When every one is getting engaged...

Day in day out I hear this news now that someone is getting engaged. So I had to write this how does it feel when you are asked first time - "Boss, when are you planning to marry, now?"

As I have been talking about mind (which use to remain in past only) never accept the fact that time has already came. Time is arrived to think about going two and getting married. It's not an event but a process. This happens periodically in a human being life but it looks so sudden amusement to mind because mind loves singing the songs of past. Past made up of school life, college life and career life. No body, trust me, no young generation would be planning for marriage. How come they plan for them? Their parents, their teachers, their friends, neighbors, peers - all are talking about making a career. That too starting from the standard 10. Remember or not but this number 10 used to be a very freaking dream in our life since then everybody has mechanized youngsters mind to make a career. Then comes 12th. Then comes graduation, a professional degree, a decision to start own or to get a job, further study? Oh I forgot the salary jumps and money making advices. See, we never being told during this era to think about getting married or selecting a partner because what has been shown as a target is career.

In making that career, we have given up everything. Sleep, innocence, education (make sure we get degrees not education), family, town, social touch, sports (please don't forget that which could have been emerged as a career itself) and what not! We certainly end up getting a good career, degrees and self-confidence. Then now what is this marriage? Why do people want us to tie? This confidence itself is now questioning to all those who mechanized us for career because now you have started thinking yourself. You have started applying your mind for your own. How can you accept someone's decision for your life? Then education becomes a curse because an educated mind will think logically. What is the logic of getting married? - He can not accept it as a mere existing truth because now that mind is habituated for thesis, laboratory tests, analytical processes and other craps.

Parents and children stand on their own boarders. Formers are experienced and later are educated so where both wrestlers are equally competent only work left to the refery is to check the time. Children and parents! A very beautiful and somewhat strange relationship! When you are child your parents will take your smartness as their own pride but if you are smart enough to delay your marriage date they will be annoyed of your smartness. They always wanted you to get well educated but if you are too educated not to believe in holy concept of marriage then they will be disappointed of your "n" number of degrees. You could be an IS officer but can not be unmarried. Children, on the other hand, don't know how to speak when they are child so they cry and make their parents understand and when they become young, educated now language even won't be enough to make them understand. Top of all, their ego won't let them cry as well.

Nobody is against marriage. Nobody can mechanize or let me use this word - hypnotize a human being not to marry. Those who say they don't want to get married are playing with themselves only or are confused whether to go in or out. Don't make it definite like it has to be arrange or love or live in or anything because then you are talking about way and not about purpose itself. Parents, sometimes, are afraid of their own children that they won't get married (or should I write afraid of not getting married in the way they want them to) but they have to understand a human being is never that sort of animal who can live alone. Scientifically, no animal can. Animals are better because they have not made it definite like 7 round circles, a holy priest, a red powder or just two signatures but then it makes me think they are human beings only who love traditions.

In end, commitment is the cap of courageous. Be it.

Letter No. 1 - To My Missing Luck

Dear Luck,

It is my utmost pleasure to be on the earth - no matter you are far away. Please don't take it as my ego or it's that I can live without you. In fact, I am little annoyed that you have been so unfriendly and anti-social by not coming home when you were there in the town, in fact in my society, in fact very near to office once as well. Did not you even wait to hear the voice of your all favorite Chinese bells? Do you steel annoyed as I am more nearer to Hard Work these days or did you find me abusing you against people? Is it?

I am interested to meet you not for my sake believe me. There has been lot of talk in the town about you and me and what I think on you. They think I distrust you. There's a rumor in the market, I have a soft corner with Hard Work when they caught me with her at my office. Indeed, there was a title in the yesterday's news paper on me and her relation - "Behind every successful man, there's always a woman!" Please come once and let's solve this.

This will sound annoying but you only tell me how long shall I wait for you? When there's need; when I look back, there's only Hard Work. Her father Mr. Passion has lot of influence on my profession you know? Just because I en-cash his name with my name, I get good clients. No wonder there has been a sound of deposits in my bank account since I am associated with them. There are lot of enemies of them as well but I know you must be knowing good lives make enemies faster. Don't you think so? Sometimes I think its you only who brought Hard Work in my life. If you would not have left me alone, felt me like a failure, I would not have turned to Hard Work. No personal fight huh?

By the way, how's your mom - Mrs. KUNDLI? She had carried me well in my early childhood and predicted that I would be an engineer. See, she was not quite wrong - at least I am a professional. Do send some Hi-vi next time you are in the town. At least a missed call will make me feel friend!

Stay tune!

Except when...

I never like to come second
except when I am following you!
I never think to beg
except when I am proposing you.

I never turned back for people
except when You left me.
I never expect to return
except when you are going.
I was never so alone
except when you were not there.
I am never before so mad
except when you want me to turn on.

I never liked the rain
except when you want me to get wet in.
I was never particular about life
except when you want a one.

"I" am calling.

What is it making a human being talk to himself? Mankind would be thankful to that scientist who will find out a telephone which rings inside human. A direct connection to your own self. I would love to see the screen than - "I" am calling.

In fact, many of us just reject that call. A call which can change your life. So spontaneous, timely, so apt. No schools, no communication teachers have ever made me think on this ever live conversation of me with myself. It works even off battery as and when you are in your dreams. The conscious mind and the sub-conscious mind are like line 1 and 2. Your body system is designed so beautifully that unknowingly your conscious mind swifts to sub-conscious mind where line 2 is active and vice versa. There is a line 3 as well - which is line not at all, let me call it an unconscious line. That's where a human being is found busy.

I have felt that call coming 1000 times in a day. I don't miss it though. In fact, now I am addicted to that call be it in office facing client, be it in social function, be it reading books, be it breathing itself - let me put it like that only. Trust me that call never leaves me alone. It's someone very me. You know? Karthik (Gautam) calling Karthik (Gautam)?

We are so busy and amused from the outer life (You know Work, Television, Bollywood, Parties, your love and etc.) that we have stopped answering that call. Even if we pick it up, for a god shake, we put it on hold. We never tried to listen genuinely inside. We are now what other people want us to be. A pretending always. An actor always. There are rules, rules and rules. Rules to rule and then further rules to break it up. That's known as tradition, culture and societal progress. In fact, utterly bullshit.

Mind is changing let it be. Mind is volatile take the risk. It is in no way selfishness but a way to know your self. It takes courage, guts to pick it up and say Hello to him because no priest, no teacher, no one says it so. That call is very decisive. Indifferent to all but yet very selective and choosy. It can order you mind it. It can order you to slap your love in public if she makes non-sense, can order you to speak the truth to your girl friend if you are just making a fool out of her. No you don't do it because you are afraid of losing her love. It has very strong impact on every organ and breath of your life. That's why it comes very naturally; sometimes uninvited. Usually, in anger, grief, silence or annoyance we reflect that call. We speak just what the call is translating for us in language or silence. Its good but then again we go back and pretend because we just don't like our mind to think naturally, spontaneously and made it a tape recorder.

Give the highest respect; love them if you find any people listen the call of your mind or heart. That is the highest level of transparency or honesty could be! Rest can be deemed contracts or agreements.

OSHO has said so amazingly that you may not find any reason or purpose to pick it up but then one who always asks "what's the purpose in doing it?" is himself meaningless. You have to be meaningless to find a purpose and respect someone's purpose. A state of purposeless can only give birth to a purpose. Look at those couples who go on throwing their own purposes two each other. That won't be a happy couple be it a husband-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend, father-son, sister-brother, friends. They are always found on complaining mode. They complain you because they have purpose of their own to be getting fulfilled. How can they do listen you when they have their own purpose to listen for?

So I am not gonna stop that call. Not going to put it on hold as well and with that again my mind has started calling me. Stayed tune with me.

SAPANAO KADI TUTATA JA NATHI

JEVI HATI AVI SARAS,
JINDAGI NE JIVAVA MA MAJA PADI..
HU JA KAINK SAPANAO JOTO HATO VADHARE
KE JINDAGI NE JIT NI AADAT JA KHOTI PADI!

SAPANAO KADI TUTATA JA NATHI,

IKHLAS!

KE A HU JA HATO JE

ANE MAHEL KAHI NE VISHAL BANAVATO.

BAKI MANASH NI VISHATE TO FAKT JINDAGI CHE,

MAUT KYA ANE KEM AAVE CHE?

ANI KHABAR JA KYA ANE HATI?

SHANE DUKHI THAYO CHE TU AAJ-KAL THI?

A TU JA HATO JE CHUPAY GAYO HATO AK KHUNA MA,

KE JYA KHUSHIYA AAVTI HATI

TARA DWARE ROJ TAPAL THI?

HAJU PAN SAMAY CHE...!

TARA MA PAN KOI TANMAY CHE.

JA JAI NE MALI LE AK VAR GALE,

BES BE GHADI KE

DIL NI VAT BAHAR NIKADE.

A TU JA HATO JE BHATAKTO HATO ANDHARA MA,

JYA ROSHANI HATI AMNA NAYANO TADE!

Al-Ikhlas

A live breath,

Two twinkling eyes you got.

A blush from you,

A wave of your PALLU…

In an on-shore cold breeze,

Makes my goosebumps go freeze.

Click, click and click,

My eyes snap you every time they blink,

Invincible are your flashbacks,

Ikhlas! I don’t see any trick works.

I could be strictly not correct in choosing you

But who the hell thought about correctness once saw you?

I am least concerned…

What people think about what I think?

And here I come to know

How did it evolve in the literature – the word shrink?

OOO...HOVE HOVE...!

Navaratri a festival of India and how colorful days are these! Dance is something I always enjoy may it be in the form of GARBA. It brings the inner side of you in front of people and how much artistic you can be. No matter it has a devotional touch in dance form, you don't need to believe in god to feel the beats, to play in the crowd, to loose yourself in GARBA. There are people who prepare themselves month before in terms of clothes, steps and celebrations.

I was too curious to know about Navaratri and there's no better teacher than Google. I was amused when I found these facts -

(a) Navaratri is a worship of SHAKTI - The ancient goddess Durga.

(b) Navaratri is celebrated four times in a year.

(c) SHAKTI is in the form of 9 goddesses leaded by Durga.

(d) The name GARBA is came from the Sanskrit word GARBHA (Womb) and DEEP (A small lamp).

This is devotional literature. I can not resist depicting my observations about these cheerful days. These are the days of worshiping goddess and I hear only songs of gods. Ram who killed Ravan on Dusshera and its a celebration of victory of Ram over Ravan, divinity over sin and yet SHYAM is repetitively invited for GARBA. May be because SHYAM who started Ras, started making people dancing on his flute. People accept SHYAM more easily, whole heartedly because their mind is playful like KRISHNA. Mind likes everything which is not static like that of acts of KRISHNA. Freedom is obvious. Ram is determined, stable, a symbol of sacrifice and who does like determination and stability? Determination is boring, difficult to last long.

I see mass dancing in one rhythm with an unknown divine pleasure on sweat faces, the flow of the clothes, the voice of the claps, finding the way from the unorganized mad circles, few chaos, few understanding on occasion, few wave of a smile to person you know. I am one of this generation who do not know whether god exists or not but surely I see them feeling godliness during this season. It brings winter and who will not welcome? Two hours GARBA makes you forget the office life, forget the work to be completed tomorrow. When you walk back home, there is a pleasure inside, a kind of undefined relaxation.

May the next Navaratri come fast and be more colorful!

Be a peacock!

Why is media or some critics so negative about everything joyous that happen to India? 101 medals, a series clinch against Australia and what not! Some people don't know celebrations somehow.

I certainly hate or just can not digest when media or some cowards doubt players attempting genuine or about their honesty towards game or country. Patriotism is not only about standing on the border and fire at the enemies, sings a song of going green or voting at election times. Petrotism is there in the heart, a KARMA and not a fantasy. I understand, though a little, though for the sake of my own benefits, though commercially, but I am contributing for this country undoubtedly by performing what I am good at; to whatsoever extent but I do, something or little for this country and so does these all sportsmen. Who are we to judge their patriotism or honesty about game or country? We should not forget we are just viewers, simple viewers and don't even spent a few bucks to see them live, just serf channels that too by remote and bark on their failures; knowing that they are also human being like us. They do fail, do make mistakes. Have we seen their non-tiring efforts to reach to such a level? Do we rethink on the national cap selection?

Shameful to say this but amongst these non-liking-India or non-liking Indians-group, most of them have left India for a secured life out there in foreign. They sleep in AC, with a beautiful wife who is just a contract for the PR and think about their children's security. Children who knows "YOPE" and "HI" but don't know "KEM CHO" and "NAMASTE". Sometimes I feel they are dead people loaded with complaints, grudges and annoyance about India. India which used to be their first home whatsoever dirty, corrupted or crowded in their brain washed foreign mind! They are blaming because they themselves failed in achieving or making India a better place. Disliking, rude but this is the impression they left in my mind. Just like the old say - "Who would like to make own hands dirty to clean the muddle?" If any of you meet such people, take them to see movie MOTHER INDIA.

Further, they don't only criticize but compare and criticize. Comparison is a worst weapon of a flunk, a looser. He, who lost everything in life or games, will compare your good performance with the benchmark, just to let him feel his ego well. Utterly schoolish but generally true!

We all love games. In fact, we should have one game in life for we can leave anything behind. Than love players. Players made of blood and stones like us. All those who doubt CWG players or cricketers or any damn performers genuineness are cowards. Cowards like me, like you or any viewers. Why to go far? Take my example; I could be in the field of painting, writing or a wild guess cricketer but no. Commercial and professional life with a white color degree is more acceptable. Why to take pain?

Let us not be a spectator only. Let us not assume corruption in sport just because we are used to in our commercial professional life. If we can not stand and give a round of applause on their performance its fine but let us not demarket or doubt someone's thorough involvement, hardcore attempts and invincible dedication. Be a peacock, every time when rain come, start singing and dancing. Be a sun flower, every time when sun rise, blossom.

Be appreciative to be acceptable!

Plumbed!

Ever since you said good bye,

I have stopped seeing the time.

What's the point of hearing that TIK-TIK...

TIK- TIK...,

if the time is not mine!

Sticked there, waiting for you,

is something unhappening of me.

Not coming, not attending me,

why do you be an alibi?

I play back foot

while playing with you...

You don't allow me to score,

plumbed OUT...

and don't give me a chance one more.

Is there any second inning?

Leave it

7.30 pm - Star Plus - SASURAL GANDA FOOL. In an episode, when Ishaan sold off his old scooter, he is missing it like anything and Suhana still wonders what is it in that so interesting? Why old, vanishing scooter is so lovable, in fact, replaced by a new car?

Old is actually stored in the mind. Human mind is designed such that it takes good time to forget the old. Old things, old people, old friends, old gazette keeps a long lasting impact on the mind. It is the time spent with these oldies never let your mind leave them. It is true, you undergo a feeling of guilty while leaving old and feel excited for accepting the new at the same time. This happens while leaving the old girl friend as well. No difference.

I got a BELMONTE shirt with pink color, whitish lines and of cotton. Yesterday when I saw it being used in cleaning the house, there was some pain mind had to go through. It was the shirt I wore first time in office at Bombay. So comfortable, good-looking, easy to go. And now? Devastating isn't it? You may try to avoid that pain but intuitions never leave you like every time I leave the house I see that shirt hanged up on the gate. Than you have destiny to blame!

Leaving and accepting is part of life. We all are mature enough to understand that we have to go on and life never stops but at the end you are human only. Your mind is not mobile that you can cancel or postpone any reminders. Reminders that you don't want to get reminded. Instances that you have thrown in the dustbins. To live you need to leave. Leave love which makes you weak, comes with pain, ends your own enthusiasm. Love is never a shame, shallow, drowsy or dull feeling. Whenever it comes, it comes with joy, enlightenment and blossom your life. Take any celebrity or the one you love. Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar (I can guarantee you these two people are loaded with lot of enthusiasm) - why are being loved so much? Hardly I see them creating any negative vibe, any controversy, anything stolen (anything that they don't possess but represent), anything late (everything is spontaneous).

You take any facet - life, love, success, profession, sport, family anything. Somewhere you need to learn leaving. The best thing you can leave is yourself. That happens when you think you are two. When you start comparing you with yourself. Not for the gain or loss, not for win or loose, just for the sake of survival, the existence. Something better to do. Something better to complete. A totality. Every time when you make mistake, there is a person inside you which has gone wrong. It's not very you but not different from you. You can not order him but surely win him by your silence, concentration, determination, thinking. I am sure we never wanted to hurt anyone but somehow, being human, hearting someone is obvious, part of all existence, natural. Don't worry, turn back and apologize!

Leave each that beat, each that blink, each that breath which creates no sense!

A trespassing

When I see in the mirror,

I am not alone.

A trespassing

and my persona is missing!

I am lost,

it's going, going and gone.

I used to make faces before,

colors were there on it countless,

now no more!

somebody's known,

perhaps my own,

a breathtaking evening,

a beautiful dawn!

Had been a king throughout before,

see its you

who made me a pawn!

Mirror can make magic,

I never knew.

If you come out,

I grab chance a few.

I am falling on you

that's undoubtedly true!